Why making learning harder can sometimes help your child learn more

As parents, we naturally want to make things easier for our children. If they're struggling with something, we try to help. If they can't remember something, we show them the answer. If a piece of homework is difficult, we might sit beside them and work through it together. That instinct is completely understandable. But when it comes to learning, there is an interesting idea that turns this on its head: sometimes making learning a little harder can actually help your child learn more.

That might sound strange. Surely if your child is struggling to remember something, the best thing to do is make it easier? In reality, the struggle itself can sometimes be part of what makes the learning stick.

When easy doesn't always mean effective

Think about something you've learned yourself. Perhaps you've learned a new route to work, a new recipe or even someone's phone number. If you look at the information repeatedly, it can quickly become familiar. You recognise it and think, "Yes, I know that." But then try to recall it without looking. Suddenly, it's much harder.

This is one of the important differences between recognising information and actually being able to remember it. Something can look familiar when it's in front of you without being securely stored in your memory. That's why some of the most effective learning strategies can feel surprisingly difficult.

Try taking the notes away

Imagine your child has spent 20 minutes reading through their revision notes about photosynthesis. Everything looks familiar and they feel as though they understand it. Instead of asking them to read the notes again, ask them to put them away and explain what they can remember. They might struggle. They might forget the word "chlorophyll". They might remember what plants need but forget what the process actually produces. They might get some of the information right and some of it wrong. That's okay.

In fact, the struggle to retrieve the information is useful. When your child has to search their memory for the answer rather than simply looking at it, they are doing something much more demanding than reading it again. That effort is part of the learning process.

A little bit of struggle can be productive

This doesn't mean that we should deliberately make everything difficult for our children. If your child has absolutely no idea what something means, asking them to struggle with it for an hour isn't going to magically make them learn it. There needs to be enough knowledge there for them to have something to work with. The useful difficulty is usually a manageable challenge.

Your child might know the basic idea but have to work hard to remember the detail. They might have to retrieve an answer rather than being shown it. They might have to work out which method to use rather than being told immediately. These small challenges can feel less comfortable than simply looking at the answer, but they can produce stronger learning.

Think about learning to ride a bike

There's a simple analogy that can help explain this. Imagine teaching a child to ride a bicycle by holding onto them forever. They might feel completely safe, but they aren't doing much of the balancing themselves. Eventually, you have to let go. There might be some wobbling. They might make mistakes. They might even fall off once or twice. But that struggle is part of learning how to balance.

Learning isn't always about removing every difficulty. Sometimes we need to give children the opportunity to do the difficult bit themselves. The same principle applies when they're studying.

Don't rescue them too quickly

This is where parents can play an important role. If your child asks, "What's the answer to this?" it can be tempting to tell them straight away, particularly if you know it yourself. But sometimes a better response is to give them a little time to think. You might say, "What do you remember about it?" or "What do you think the answer might be?" You could even give them a small clue rather than the complete answer.

The aim isn't to frustrate them. It's to give them the opportunity to retrieve what they know and work things out for themselves before you step in. Sometimes the best help you can give is a little less help.

This is why some revision techniques work better than others

A lot of revision activities feel productive because they are easy. Reading through notes feels comfortable. Highlighting information feels productive. Watching a revision video can make a difficult topic seem much clearer. There is nothing inherently wrong with these things, but they don't always require your child to do much thinking.

Compare that with answering a question without looking at the notes, explaining a topic from memory, completing a practice problem or trying to remember something they haven't looked at for several days. These activities are harder. And that is partly why they can be more effective.

The feeling of difficulty isn't necessarily evidence that learning isn't happening. Sometimes it is evidence that the brain is having to work.

The science has a name for this

Researchers often refer to these kinds of challenges as "desirable difficulties". The phrase was popularised by psychologist Robert Bjork to describe situations where making learning slightly more difficult can improve long-term retention. The important word is "desirable". We don't want difficulty for the sake of difficulty. We want the kind of difficulty that makes your child think, retrieve, compare, solve or work something out. That's very different from simply making a task harder.

What can parents actually do?

You don't need to redesign your child's entire approach to studying. Start by looking for opportunities to let them do a little more of the thinking themselves. If they've been reading their notes, ask them what they can remember without looking. If they ask for an answer immediately, give them a little time to think. If they are revising a topic, ask them to explain it to you rather than simply telling you that they understand it. And don't worry if they find it difficult. Difficulty isn't automatically a problem. Sometimes it is exactly what you want.

Make it difficult enough to think, not difficult enough to give up

There is an important balance here. If your child is finding something difficult because they haven't been taught it properly, they need help. If they are completely lost, they need explanation and guidance. Learning shouldn't become an exercise in frustration. But if your child knows more than they think they do, giving them the chance to retrieve it, work it out or struggle with it for a little while can be incredibly valuable.

So the next time your child says, "I can't remember," resist the temptation to immediately give them the answer. Give them a moment. Ask what they do remember. Give them a clue if they need one. And then let them have a go. Because sometimes, the learning happens in the bit where your child is thinking, "I know this... I just can't quite remember it yet."