Why asking your child what they remember can help them learn
If “What did you learn at school today?”
It is one of those questions parents ask almost without thinking. And if your child is anything like most children, the answer might be “I don't know”, “Nothing” or perhaps a fairly detailed account of what happened at lunchtime. But there is something interesting about that question. When you ask your child to remember something they have learned, you are doing more than simply finding out whether they were paying attention. Asking them to remember can actually help them learn.
This is the idea behind something called retrieval practice. It sounds like a technical term, but the principle is remarkably simple: rather than looking at information again, you try to bring it back from your memory.
Don't just look at the answer
Imagine your child has been learning about the human heart. They could read their notes several times, look at a diagram and highlight the important information. All of that might make the topic feel increasingly familiar. Now imagine they close the book and you ask, “Can you tell me the four chambers of the heart?” They might remember all four. They might remember three. They might only remember two. Whatever happens, something useful has taken place. They have had to search their memory for the information rather than simply recognise it when it appears on the page.
This is why retrieval practice is different from simply revising by reading. Research has consistently found that actively retrieving previously learned information can improve later retention compared with common passive study approaches such as repeated reading. The important thing for parents to understand is that the act of remembering is part of the learning process.
Getting stuck is useful
This can feel slightly uncomfortable for children, and sometimes for parents too. If your child is trying to remember something and gets stuck, our natural instinct is to give them the answer. After all, we don't want them sitting there struggling. But a little struggle can be useful.
Imagine your child is revising the causes of the First World War. You ask them to tell you the main causes without looking at their notes. They remember nationalism, but can't quite remember the others. That's not a failed revision session. They have just discovered something they don't know securely enough yet. They can now look back at their notes, find the missing information and try again later. The process has helped them identify the gap between what they thought they knew and what they could actually remember.
This is one of the reasons retrieval practice can be so powerful. It gives children information about their own learning at the same time as helping to strengthen the knowledge itself.
You don't need to be a teacher
The great thing about retrieval practice is that parents don't need to know the subject themselves. You don't have to understand GCSE chemistry to ask your child, “Tell me three things you remember about today's lesson.” You don't need to know the details of the French Revolution to say, “Explain to me what you've just been revising as though I know nothing about it.” And you certainly don't need to sit down and mark a test. You can simply ask questions.
At the dinner table, in the car, while walking the dog or when your child comes downstairs after studying, you could ask them to tell you what they remember. If they've been revising a particular topic, ask them to explain it in their own words. If they've been learning vocabulary, ask them to define a few words without looking. Sometimes the simplest questions are the most useful.
The answer being wrong isn't a disaster
Of course, your child won't always get the answer right. That's why checking the answer matters. If they are using flashcards, they should try to answer before turning the card over. If they're answering practice questions, they should check their answers afterwards. If you're asking them questions, you can encourage them to look back at their notes when they're unsure. The aim isn't to leave children wandering around with misconceptions. Retrieval should be followed by feedback. If they remember something incorrectly, they can correct it. If they've forgotten something completely, they can relearn it and try again later.
In other words, getting something wrong during revision isn't necessarily something to avoid. It can tell your child exactly where their next bit of learning needs to happen.
You can make it part of everyday life
Retrieval practice doesn't need to involve a desk, a textbook or a formal revision session. Suppose your child has learned something interesting in science that day. On the journey home, ask them to explain it to you. If they've been learning about a historical event, ask them what they remember about it while you're making dinner. If they're preparing for an exam, ask them to tell you the three most important things they learned from their revision session.
You could even turn it into a family habit. Once or twice a week, ask everyone to share one thing they have learned recently. It doesn't have to feel like a test. In fact, the less it feels like an interrogation, the better. The point is simply to create more opportunities for your child to bring knowledge back to mind.
Don't confuse recognition with knowing
There is one final reason I think this matters so much. When your child looks at their notes and thinks, “Yes, I know this,” they may genuinely believe they know it. The information looks familiar and they can follow the explanation because the answer is sitting right there. But remove the notes and ask them to explain it, and they may discover that their knowledge isn't quite as secure as they thought. That isn't bad news. It is useful information.
The next time your child says, “I've revised that already”, you could ask a very simple follow-up question: “Great. Now tell me what you can remember without looking.” Because ultimately, learning isn't just about how familiar something feels when you see it. It's about what you can bring back when you need it.
